It’s too late. Albatross have consumed your soul, your psyche, your wardrobe.
And, no one can hear you scream, because you are, in fact, dreaming, and in your dream you are wearing a huge ungainly albatross suit, and it’s hot and smelly. And there are about a million albatross in your house and most of them look deranged and insane and are silently screaming for help and squawking at the windows and praying for quick albatross death.
No, no, it can’t be … no, no, NOOOOO!
You snap awake. You find calm once you see your 14 porcelain albatross on the self above your 58-inch tall stuff cartoon-y albatross your boyfriend Brad won you at the Fair. You flick your albatross bobblehead to bob yes for a minute. All is well.
Or is it?
“Albatross are a species heavily impacted by the ocean plastic pollution problem,” explains Suzanne Akerman, staff biologist at Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium and co-chair of Drinking for Conservation, a sub-organization of the Point Defiance Chapter of the American Association of Zookeepers that raises money for endangered species through benefit nights at Tacoma taverns and bars. Like you, Akerman has spent many sleepless nights pondering the plight of albatross in the Pacific Northwest. She and her Drinking for Conservation peeps will host Ales for Albatross, a benefit to the Oceanic Society for albatross conservation from 6-9 p.m. at Peaks and Pints bottle shop, taproom and restaurant in Tacoma’s Proctor neighborhood.
“We chose to support the Oceanic Society’s albatross program because we want to help these amazing birds through an organization that is doing field research on albatross and helping people change their behavior to protect all ocean wildlife,” adds Akerman.
DFC donates to organizations with missions the committee believes in — helping animals and the environment. Then, Akerman and her fellow animal people find cool organizations with big hearts, such as the Parkway Tavern and Doyle’s Public House, to donate to the cause, let them roam through the establishment to chat up conservation, and in Akerman’s case, dress like the spotlight animal and, if need be, arm wrestle brewery salespeople for extra donations. DFC has promoted Libations for Lions, Sloshed for Seahorses, Buzzed for Bees and Brews for Bats where Akerman wore bat wings.
Join Drinking for Conservation in saluting the amazing albatross Wednesday, June 14. Peaks and Pints will donate 50 cents for each draught ale purchased to the Oceanic Society for albatross conservation from 6-9 p.m.
One of DFC’s lofty goals is to eventually find a brewery or winery that will partner with them to donate a portion of the proceeds from a beer or wine to Drinking for Conservation.
“Don’t you think ‘Animal Ale’ or ‘Species Specialty’ would FLY off the shelves?” asks Akerman.
That’s how DFC thinks.
They drink to help animals.
They drink to help the albatross.
You’ll obviously drink to that.
ALES FOR ALBATROSS, 6-9 p.m., Wednesday, June 14, Peaks and Pints, 3816 N. 26th St., Basecamp Proctor, Tacoma, say you’re “going” on Facebook