Rise and shine campers! Here comes one of Western Pennsylvania’s more charming anachronisms. It’s Groundhog Day! A blameless Punxsutawnian mammal pops its head out of the ground to see what all those reporters are doing, and the national network morning shows fill two whole segments without breaking a sweat. And Peaks and Pints is not talking about Ned Ryerson. You know, Ned! Ryerson! Needlenose Ned? Ned the Head? C’mon, buddy! Case Western High! He did the whistling bellybutton trick at the high school talent show? Bing! Ned Ryerson got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn’t graduate? Bing, again! Ned Ryerson, he dated your sister Mary Pat a couple of times until you told him not to anymore? Well? Yep, that’s the one.

Anyhoo, Oskar Blues Brewery will celebrate Groundhog Day at Peaks and Pints at 6 p.m., Thursday Feb. 2. The Colorado brewery will pour its Dale’s Pale Ale, Oskar Blues IPA, Mama’s Little Yella Pils, Old Chub Nirto Scotch Ale, G’Knight Imperial Red IPA and Deviant Dale’s Imperial IPA over and over and over.

Oh, but the real excitement happens when Punxsutawney Phil leaves his hole. …

If he sees his shadow, it means we will have six more weeks of winter.

If he doesn’t see his shadow, it means we will have an early spring and all Oskar Blues draft beers will be reduced to $3.50 for the night.

If he sees more than three inches of snow on the ground, it means we will get a major blizzard by President’s Day.

If he nibbles on the bark of a neighboring tree, it means we have to be better about attending our jazzercise class.

If he stands up on his hind legs, it means we will have to sit through another season of Jeff & Some Aliens.

If he looks us directly in the eye, it means we have to get on with our lives and accept that Scarlett Johansson and Romain Dauriac have split up.

If he scratches his side, it means that the movie Captain Underpants isn’t nearly as Oscar-worthy as its previews suggest.

If he thinks we’re frontin’ and pops a cap in our asses, it means he knows we’ve been with his woman.

If he starts to sing a medley of Rick Astley songs, it means he is not a real groundhog; it’s just those mean teenagers playing a trick on us again.

GROUNDSHOG DAY WITH OSKAR BLUES, 6-9 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 2, Peaks and Pints, 3816 N. 26th, Basecamp Proctor, Tacoma, no cover